Identifying codependency in relationships

Think you have codependency? If not, Look deeper, you may be…

The Break Down!


I’m about to break it down for you how this went for me and how you can Identify codependency in your relationships I was so proud and on top of my game I thought. There were many opportunities to have good healthy relationships but I couldn’t ever see where I was going wrong and I was stuck in the pain from my past hurts, asleep, ignorant. No epiphanies, no light bulbs over my head, just a life of living in sin, and although I was a genuinely nurturing person, I was still doing what I wanted and didn’t care what others thought or wanted. This happened when I grew up in a dysfunctional family. It’s not uncommon for someone to say their family life was dysfunctional, because a lot of us are doing what we were taught. Then we take that with us into adult hood and continue on their lives doing what they do and just dealing with the bumps along the way. Don’t get me wrong, life has BUMPS even if you’re doing everything right. But its how we handle those bumps that truly matters.

Still Sleeping?

Yep! Someone who is “asleep” would be a person who hasn’t had the realization/epiphany that their relationship patterns have been repeating over and over. They haven’t connected with the pattern. It’s like the same play with different actors and a small tweak of the story but ultimately, It’s the same ending but a little worse each time. We have been cycling our relationships. Starting them off wrong we seek someone to fill our voids. A codependent person will expect their partner to fill a void that they can’t fill. They seek qualities they don’t carry themselves YET. It’s like you relationships always go the same. You are broken, you attract another broken person and you have a sometimes happy but eventually in most cases an unsuccessful relationship.

Here are some ways to Identify codependency in relationships

Just so were on the same page, I want to share a few things about codependency in relationships.

  • Do you find yourself seeking a relationship due to a pressing situation so you can have relief?
  • Do you tend to over give yourself with unspoken expectations form your partner?
  • Do you choose jobs that allow you to fill the needs of others all the time?
  • Do you seek a relationship because you need someone to bail you out?
  • Do you only call your friends or family when you need something or have to spill your emotional, mental or physical baggage on?
  • Are you seeking a partner because you need money, a home, a friend, someone to control, someone to tell you how to live?
  • Perhaps we look for someone that has their own uniqueness because you can’t see that you have your own.
  • Or best for last, maybe like in Jerry McGuire do you need someone “to complete you”?

Ring a bell???

If you’re been in any situations similar to this just now there is help! I personally took my codependency to God and to this day I am allowing him to heal me at his pace. Patience was key, which I lacked. But God had shown me a way to process this issue in my life. Through Celebrate Recovery It’s a Christian based group that focuses on healing through Jesus. The only difference from then and now is I have a lot to share and God has prepared me for it. If ANYONE would have ever told me Id be talking about Jesus and sharing how he has been changing my life. If you are a person in need of healing from any hurt habit or hangups there IS hope…

So now you see the patterns. What can you do about it?

Creating our realities by our thoughts, actions & intent so If we BELIEVE it, it will be.

My one and only healer Jesus Christ. The Son of God. My healer. This process was rewarding, difficult & worth every second spent working on in my experience. Believing in God was something I did but not with my heart. I didn’t know how to love properly because life examples were less than. It’s okay, I feel you. If you want a chance to have Jesus Christ show you the freedom of his fathers love, then pray this prayer,

Dear Father God, I am sorry I put you aside in my life. I am beginning to see how messy my life has been & I need your help. Father I know that you gave your only sons life on the cross to die for my sins & that 3 days later he rose again and now sits at your right hand. Father I want to be good but cannot, so forgive me and guide me. Lead me Father because I want peace and freedom. I know that you accept me as I am, so please, take my sins and make my soul white as snow again.

I accept you as my lord and savior. In Jesus Christ Mighty name, Amen.

If you just Prayed this prayer, congratulations! have a new fresh start :

If you prayed this prayer, please check our the  You version bible at and begin reading the book of :

The book of John is an excellent place to begin on your Journey moving forward. My fantastic church is Granite United Church has welcomed me with love even though I was a broken sinner & Merrimack Valley Dream Center (MVDC) has been such an influential part of my healing process through one of its programs called Celebrate Recovery, Shuttle Ministry & Food Truck Ministry. My struggles were real and It took a lot of prayer & knocking down my pride and ego in order to pick up the pieces and start over.

Identifying Codependency is key to making the changes necessary for a self-fulfilling life. I wish you the best on your journeys. Jesus will always guide light your path. Trust in him.

~Sandra Berry

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